Stepping Off The Track

CO, NYC, Chicago, Dominica, Fl, Vermont and NOW staying put for awhile in LA!
We have 2 boys, who are homeschooled, and like all parents we want to support any passions we see arise. Well, they both have a passion to perform. Our older son Keean, on a crazy whim auditioned and got a role in the Broadway Musical "Billy Elliot"! So we sold almost everything (house included) and left our fantastic 15yrs in Colorado and headed to the BIG APPLE! We have been on the move ever since and consider ourselves an everyday family embracing life the best we know how. We tend to do things a little against the grain, but learning all we can along the way! Here's to sticking together as a family and creating an amazing adventure along the way!

"Another Homeschooling Moment"

You know you are with your boys too much when they know all the symptoms of peri-menopause but more importantly the types of tampons I need as well!

Here we are in the Walgreens and Cade(10yr old) yells out, "Mom, I found the ultramax OB tampons you've been looking for" Yes, he did that.... and did not skip a beat with a "Can I also get some gum, Mom?"

So they either:
A)Have had a fabulous Health Education
B)Will make very good husbands one day
C)Completely embarrass their mom on a regular basis!
D)All of the above

I'm going with D!!!!!
(Brenna)

Male Hair Removal And A Testimonial To The Bose Q15 Noise Cancelling Headphones

I just came from the medical center as my doc asked me to have an Echocardiogram. For those not familiar with the show 'General Hospital' this is where they measure your heart rate etc while resting then place you on a treadmill. They then get you to a point where you are nearly passing out, ask you to hold your breath, and then measure your heart rate again. I believe it was a popular method of the Spanish Inquisition. The interesting thing is that you are shirtless and they connect all these wires and electrodes to your chest. In my case they all seemed to be firmly stuck onto the hairs around my nipples! It didn't take me a second to realize that there was a chance that if I stop running and the technician was slightly slow turning off the treadmill the wires would go taught and ceremoniously rip the hair off my chest in multiple sensitive places. The technicians seemed to be amazed with my stamina, but little did they know that the impending excruciating pain was my motivator! As it happens my anxiety was not necessary and I left with my nipple hair intact. As I left the office pulling out my IPOD and donning my Bose headphones I thought how unusual it was that I would enter an establishment such as this and come out unscathed, not even one painful or embarrassing event. Today was going to be a good day! As the elevator doors opened with only a couple of people inside I jumped in. I dutifully followed ‘elevator protocol’ and while avoiding eye contact with my fellow passengers I stared at the LCD showing the floor numbers dropping. It should be noted that I have on occasion gone totally against the grain and directly faced my fellow elevator riders. The reactions to this audacious elevator etiquette have been very interesting. Everyone should try it just once. Anyway, it was at this time I realized with shock that all that running on the treadmill combined with the hearty breakfast I had enjoyed this morning had got the old engine going. Which of course is code for ‘I had the immediate need to pass gas’. Or as my Mom says “Have Some Wind”. I told myself I could hold it, but just when I thought I was going to make it the elevator stopped on the 10th floor to pick up a few more people. One took an agonizingly long time to get in as the poor chap was dragging a canister with a couple of oxygen tubes up his nose. But I had a situation going here and just as I was thinking of jumping out the doors closed. The floors on the LCD moved in slow motion as I realized the inevitable was going to happen. I had held one a few years ago and even though I kept it in I suffered terrible heartburn and a throbbing in the back of my head, and I wasn’t going through that again. We were rapidly approaching the ground floor and I thought to myself, just let it go quietly so no one will hear then make a break for it. So I engaged the ol’stomach muscles and the Glutes and silently released the hounds! With that the doors opened in perfect time and I stood aside letting everyone out. That is when I realized my error. As the folks were walking out I was met with more than one steely stare. I reached my hands up to my head and removed my Bose noise cancelling headphones and the dulcet tones of Alicia Keys. Clearly they had prohibited me from hearing the trumpet I had just blown in that confined space. As I walked out and dropped my head in shame I saw the man with the oxygen still inside going down one more floor. At least with his canister he was safe from the real power of what I had left behind. I'm not proud of what I did, but even more impressed with the power of Bose technology (Mark)

A Little Too Much Information……

Wow! Does a day get any better than this? We are now the proud owners of new Healthcare Insurance. How many times have you been in a situation where you want to make a purchase and you suddenly realize you are working harder to spend your money with the store/institution than they are working to earn it? In this World where companies live and die by their customer growth (and the retention of them) it is baffling when one does not receive a World class experience from start to finish! In the case of our quest for health insurance it was like paying a ton of cash for a cruise and upon arriving finding there was no one to welcome you and there would be no entertainment, no food, and no fun until the last day…possibly! However, I was determined to understand the detail around my coverage before I dived out to get something enhanced or augmented. We did not get a welcome package in the mail, just an email to say my credit card had been hit for $826+. I realized the gun had just gone off for the next 30 days and we were looking at $27.53 a day! The conclusion was, I should either have something looked at or cancel the coverage and enjoy five Starbucks Caramel Macchiato’s a day for the next month! Opting for the less sensible path I booked an appointment for a physical exam with a new doctor. Being 45 years old and knowing what I should expect at the physical I dreamed of a doctor with hands like the guy on the ‘Burger King’ commercial. Hands so small he can’t even wrap them round a burger bun. Of course that was not the case. However, my wife sympathetically reminds me every year “Oh stop you’re whining, how would you like to have a watermelon come out of you?” Well, my answer of course is, “I wouldn’t”. Why she always compares my uncomfortable experience of a doctor’s thumb up my bum to large pieces of fruit has always been one of the mysteries of our marriage. However, I have always assumed she is referring to childbirth and after being by her side as she is crushing my hand and making the video camera wobble I am in 100% agreement.

That does of course bring my mind racing back to my Vasectomy in 1999. I obviously thought it was important to have it before Y2K for some reason. I remember being a little sad that Brenna did not attend the event with me. I mean I was there to hold her hand for the delivery of our sons, the least she could do is hold my whatsit for my procedure! However, after she slowed the car and pushed me out while still moving past the Urologists’ office she took off. I shuffled up to the front desk in the waiting room, signed in and they gave me a pamphlet and asked me to read it before the ‘BIG SNIP & BURN’. The place was full of people. I dutifully held the pamphlet up and started reading. After a while I noticed I was getting some interesting and sympathetic looks from other people in there. This is when I realized that in large red font across the top of the pamphlet was the word ‘VASECTOMY’. I buried my head and finished reading even though I was slightly distracted and very self conscious at that point. This is when I read the following direction, ‘After 2-3 weeks of abstinence (at least 20 ejaculations) you must return for testing’. Some of the best laughs I have ever had have been in places where it would be inappropriate to laugh and this was one of them. However, tears of mirth started to pour down my face as I did all I could to stop myself loosing it. Then I realized my fellow patients were now observing a man about to place his Todger under the knife and now looked like couldn’t hold back his fear or sadness for the event. This acted as a catalyst for my uncontrollable laughter and I literally had to leave the office for a while. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the office staff witnessing what they thought was a patient fleeing the scene. After pulling myself together I went back in and was walked straight back to see the doctor. He asked if I had any questions and I had to ask. “Doctor, it maybe because I’m British, but I’m not sure if I can fulfill the request over a 2 to 3 week period described in point C on page two”. To that he corrected me that it read ‘2 to 3 months’! With that settled I was led to the slaughter, and I will say this; since late 1999 I have been calmer, not strayed off, and I’ve stopped chewing sneakers & slippers in the home! I highly recommend it!
(Mark)

Homeschool Education 101

Mom and Dad: "Okay guys we cook you clean. We think that is only fair."
 (that has been working really well apart from the typical sibling "He's not doing as much as me etc etc you get it right?)
We go to Borders.... I find Cade snuggled in the corner lying on the rug covered with 5 cookbooks!

Mom: "Cade what ya doing?"
Cade: Oh... Mom, I would really LOVE to cook dinner.
Mom: AWWWW how sweet is that(I mean did I not see it coming...duh?)
Cade: Pauses......says "Do I have to clean up since I will be the one COOKING the meal?"

Well, there you go Homeschooling at it's BEST!!!!!!

(Brenna)

The Loyalty Of A Dog And The Treachery Of A New Pair Of Underwear

Time they say is a great healer. However, maybe that does not apply if your best friend of 13 years was a Heeler. It has been just over 18 months since I said goodbye to my furry son Pugsly and not a day goes by that I don't think of him. I will anticipate that I will be pulling a few stories out of the old noggin about our life with Pugs and laying them down on paper or blog over time. I was wondering if Charles Dickens had a Blue Heeler. For anyone who knows, they are a lot of work and the phrase 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" may definitely apply. Pugs could open a fridge door and clean it out and that was after he went blind and he was considered calmer at the time.Ah, good times! Even so he was the most unbelievably loyal friend, which I am sure is the case of millions of dogs all over the world standing strong by their families today. How lucky are we as a race that we can instill such devotion from another animal. This loyalty was profoundly told in a movie we just saw called 'Hatchi: A Dog's Story'. It was based on a true story and ranks up there with one of my best movies ever.
After finishing the movie and soaking up my tears with a Shamwow towel I got ready for bed. As I was stripping off thinking about my dog I came down to my most favotite pair of underwear. The type of pair that I know my wife has had her eye on for many months now. No, not in the amorous way that I have been mistranslating when wearing my 'ol'faithfuls'. But in the "I'm-gonna-throw-those-discusting-old-holey-things- out-as-soon-as-he-turns-his-back" type of way. I have not met a man who does not covert his ancient undies. In fact the holes are what add to the comfort of those babies.Not that I spend my time sitting round the camp fire with my buddies talking about our 'smalls'.....but I would if the coversation went that direction........it's just guy code, we know what's important to us and we all know we're sporting some 'holies'. It's one of the reasons we sit so comfortably round the fire in the first place. We are walking tall and feeling great and it's all down to the ol'faithfuls! However, that is not always the case. Suddenly in the closet there is a new batch of 'Fruit of the Looms' and you can't find the old pair of parchment undies you lovingly call 'swiss cheese' anywhere! You begrudgingly put on the new pair that seem to suffocate your neather regions. You can't walk tall, you feel as stiff as one of those nutcracker dolls! There is no loyalty there, no history that you have shared with these Looms - only a feeling of treachery as you adjust and carry on with your life thinking that it's about time you got a new dog!
(Mark)

Duct Tape & Fossilized Algae and how they might effect my love life

I felt it nessessary today (I have no clue why) to document my fear that the introduction of duct tape and fossilized algae into my bedroom may have a negative effect on my love life.
In late 2009 when we were still living in Manhattan there was a point in time that we decided we would move to Chicago. Being the thrifty folks we were, we decided to collect the moving boxes that people had just discarded (ready for the trash pick-up) rather than buy new ones. Recycling already used boxes also seemed to be a more 'Green' approach. We packed them flat and stored many of them in a section in our bedroom ready to use when we started packing up. As it happens this was not our smartest move, as this was more than likely how we introduced a few bed-bugs into our home. Being bitten by one of these things is like having a burning piece of coal on your skin for about a week. Funny thing is I was the only one getting bitten. I actually felt good about that (not wanting the rest of the family to suffer) but also felt like the family sacrifical lamb! Still we were proactive and had the professional pest control guys come in and spray and do there thing........one week later, still got bitten. Who cares I say, we are moving to Chicago. Leave those bugs behind us and move on with life.
So about a week ago in our nice new place in Chicago I got bitten again! I could not believe it, they had hitched a ride in my underware draw......or where ever. I was suddenly a man on a mission. I Wikipedia'd the whatsit on the topic and to the fear of my wife I became obsessed with the section on trapping them. I was like Nathan Lane in the movie 'Mouse Hunt'. It wasn't enough to just catch them, I wanted to punish them for the pain and sleepless nights they have caused me. IT'S THEIR TURN NOW!  Ok I'll calm down. So per the Wikipedia intructions I bought some duct tape and this powder called Diatomaceous Earth or fossilized algae. It is actually broken up shells of tiny critters that scratch the bed bug to death when they walk through the powder.....yea now your talking! I felt it appropriate to make this online purchase before telling my wife, as such craziness in the past has been met with the justifiable 'Look', and who needs that when you're a man on a mission.
Big news! It all arrived today! So, while my lovely bride is currently at yoga (sweating in a room that is so hot it might exceed the temperature on the surface of the Sun) I am laying the trap for my blood sucking ememy! Per the instructions I have plastered duct tape (sticky side up using double sided tape) around each of the bed posts and around the entire circumference of the bed. This is to trap the little buggers when they try to advance on my sleeping body. I have then scattered this critter dust all over the bedroom and expecially in all the nooks and crannies. Unfortunatley it was tough going there for a bit as it was a little hard to breathe due to the dust cloud that had erupted in the room.
However, as I pop my head back in the room right now and observe the battlefield for tonights grudge match I have to seriously ask myself if this once beautiful love nest turned war zone will have an adverse effect on my love life. I say let's hold judgement until Brenna comes back from yoga. My fear of course is as she approaches the bed she will either get tripped up on the duct tape, fall over and hit her head or faint from the lack of oxygen in the air. Either way, I don't think I'm gonna get bitten tonight!
(Mark)

LETTING GO: A Brief Synopsis of our Journey Thus Far

Okay, this is my new mantra "LET GO"  I mean do I really think I have control over my kids, or even my life for that matter ha ha!!!!!  I realized this back about 3 1/2yrs ago when I took my boys(7 and 10) out of school right before school started! That's right. I was working at the school, and like that.....quit my job and took them out of a very popular waitlisted school!  And then looked around with a blank stare and said "Now what?" Little did I know it was the first of many "Now what's". Since then we sold almost everything, sold our house of 10yrs and took a 3 month roatrip through the states then into Europe! My husband had been laid off so instead of doing the "right thing" we decided why not travel?....that's right we just "LET GO" and let it be and enjoy the moment!!!  Well, that was a great trip!  We then ended up in NYC where our new life was to begin! Our son had gotten a job on Broadway!!!!!  Yes, completely unexpected, but we "LET GO" and said let's do it! Of course, as we were "LETTING GO" we also let go of finding a place to live!!!! Which is why we went from a 2500 sq ft home to a 550sq ft Manhattan apartment where my kids slept in the kitchen!!! And when I say "kitchen" I mean small fridge, small oven and sink...yes no counter! In fact, I could spread my legs hip length and cover our kitchen! Our power would go off ALL the time(when we used our mini microwave) which would leave us in utter darkness!  There was only one window which meant there were days when we had no idea whether it was raining or sunshine!  It was a long "railroad apt" so one end had the window the other end window was smack up against a building with the boys bunk beds covering it! Anyhow, we did it!  I made it like "home" with photos, decorations, etc.... Somehow, someway we lived like this for about 3mos!
We then left our tiny apt and moved into the mansion!!!! Yes, in NYC 800sq ft is a mansion!!! We have one bath but at least 2 bedrooms this time and a kitchen that now has counter space!  Mark and I both can now spread our legs hip length and cover it end to end!  Whooo Hooo!!!! We made it our home for a year and a half!  We immersed ourselves in to city life and LOVED every minute of it!!!!  My boys NEVER skipped a beat!  Now don't get me wrong I am not saying our lives were perfect, not by ANY stretch of the imagination, but it was an amzing adventure and true "LETTING GO"
My son was asked to play his current role in the National Tour starting in Chicago!!!  Now of course, if anyone had ever asked me would you be living in NYC and then Chicago in less than 2 yrs???? Oh, I forgot and live in a hotel for about a month with your family of FOUR!(because we moved out of our apt and the producton company asked us to stay a bit longer)  I would have laughed in their face! Well, here we go again..."LET GO" so we did!!! My kids thought living in a hotel was as if they were "Zack and Cody" ha ha But when we said room service was out of the question their dreams were quickly "squelched!"
Before we moved to Chicago we thought why not road trip it again!  Mark had been "let go" so that is what we did "LET GO" and had once again another fantastic roadtrip to DC, NC,GA (Tybee Island Savananh) Fl to stay with my family then back up thru Atlanta, GA, Asheville NC, TN(to visit family) Way in the boonies which was like going to Disney for my kids!!!  This trip was like a NYC minute (as we only had 11 days) but in between the occasional sibling fights, our car door breaking and having to hold it together with a rope, obviuosly long hours in the car made better by singing out loud to the latest "Glee" CD, loads of stand up comedy CD's(ok so Robin willams probably not appropriate for my 10 yr old but I was "LETTING GO"hee hee Okay so we complimented with Bill Cosby, too!!!! ......all in all a very memorable adventure!!!
Then we arrived to our "New home" which by the way we got sight unseen so we were prepared for ANYTHING!!!! ......Well, our new home is the most beautiful place I have ever lived in all of my 42 yrs!  It is as if someone took a beautiful view pic of Chicago River and Navy Pier and stuck it on our floor to ceiling windows!!!!! It is 1500 sq ft, 2 and a half baths and in our terms HUGE kitchen!!!!!!!  We are truly blessed that is for sure!!! I finally after 17 yrs of marriage have a walk in closet!  Not that I own anything to put in it hee hee!
So life as we know it is now in Chicago!!!  We are settled in our beautiful home which is decorated like "our home" and so cozy! Keean is rehearsing and taking dance classes and Cade is in heaven ripsticking everywhere, meeting friends, going to museums and parks galore!  Mark is currently looking for work, and I am back to yoga and have met some great homeschool families!  Still in the back of my head we keep saying...."LET GO"  We do not know what life has in store for us.  Not a clue what will happen next!
 My days are spent trying to "LET GO" of how society believes kids should learn and just let it happen. I keep going back and forth with what my gut says and those little people above your shoulder say....... Like Cade watching Harry Potter, then going on the computer, printing out all the spells, ferociously memorizing them all, and making a makeshift wand....(we caught him in his room quietly trying them out and getting frustrated that his book would not float).....now that is just priceless if you ask me. Also let's see, Reading was covered, research, memorization, learning new concepts, art(wand) and he is now ready and willing to read the Harry Potter Half Blood Prince along with his other some 500 page novel he is just finishing! Now this is the boy who when he was in school NEVER wanted to read!  That's right........"LET GO"
(Brenna)

The Human Sperm

After four triathlons I finally broke down and bought a wetsuit and it arrived this weekend! As a family we try to be very thoughtful of where money is spent. Minimizing expenditures on trivial things that we can do without has given us the opporunity to do things that are important to us. However, in the case of the wetsuit I realized our thriftiness had had a negative impact on my very survival when racing in the  Steamboat Springs triathlon in the Rockies of Colorado. I entered the water with my age group. It was a sea of fantastic slick black wetsuit cad athletes and me, a shivering pasty white man in a tiny pair of tri-swim shorts! I may as well have been wearing a lime green thong for the looks of incredulity I was getting. I turned to the focused looking chap next to me and jockingly said "Should I be worried if I can't move my eyelids?". He looked at me like I had just passed gas and it had bubbled up in the water next to him. Not in the mood for some humor before he breaks the land speed record I guess. Well the gun went off and 20 or so minutes later I emerged out of the fridged lake looking like an extra from the movie Avatar and wondering where my private parts had dissapeared to. So lessons learned and today I proudly put on my new black wesuit and black swim cap. I shuffled squeeking towards the mirror to take the first look at what I anticipated would be one magnificant athlete. As I stared in the mirror two things where immediately apparent; 1) I was sweating so badly under the inch of neoprene I may have already lost a couple of pounds while having the claustrophobic impulse to claw the suit off me, and 2) I was perfect to audition as a sperm in one of those educational school documentaries about Human Reproduction.
Wish me luck racing this year.....hope I'm the first one to the egg!
(Mark)

I'm a little Tea Pot Short And Stout

Just dropped my youngest son off at his acting camp. He is not a slight lad, probably due to all the milk he drank as a baby - he made the Michellen Man look like a runway super model in his early days. Now he is well on the way to being the first 10 year old to bench pressing his own father. He told me if he is late for his camp he has to sing "I'm A Little Tea Pot". In the confines of the elevator he gives me a short rendition of the song with all the actions. He is nearly 5 foot tall, but when he sang with that fantastic smile of his he was instantly that tiny 3 year old singing the same thing round the camp fire! Time is an amazing thing and best measured I feel by observing your children or kids you know. Us 'oldees' tend to feel like the same person as decades pass by. Seeing that lovely lad repeating history reminds me how lucky we are to have lived the life we have been given and how precious every moment of every day is. If only I could do a better job of remembering that everyday! Of course our entire lives we have been pushed (should I even say brainwashed) into planning for the future. With 401Ks, retirement plans, Life Insurance.....all of which I have jumped onboard with. Even from a very young age who wasn't asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?". From technology to TV it's never about the 'now' it's always about 'what's next?'. Now don't get me wrong I get pumped about the future and what is install for us and our children. However, it all  tends to direct our focus away from the incredible moment in time you are having right now. Well I don't mean reading this blog...you know what I mean. So happy Saturday! Enjoy every moment!    
(Mark)

Capabable of anything!

I just finished the book 'Endurance' by Caroline Alexander. The true story about Shackleton's legendary Antartic Expedition back in the early 1900's.  It's a short read and simply unbelievable that any human could possibly withstand that level of misery. However, it is a true statement of the untapped power of what we are all capable of when faced with adversity. What was remarkable too was the theme (through their journals) of the beauty of the artic. Through frozen eyes and terrible conditions they could still recognize how incredible this earth is. It is humbling to read of this survival story and reminds me that whatever adveristy or barrier that I think is infront of me.....it is nothing to what I/we have the ability to overcome.....it is simply a matter of will. How bad do I want it? Nothing is impossible!
(Mark)